The title of this blog involved much deliberation on my part. When you decide to start a blog on wordpress.com you get to keep typing your great ideas of word combinations into a little box. Of course, this box turns red every time you press enter because that combination has already been taken as if to say “Sorry, you are not as unique or clever as you thought…” Finally I settled on girlmovingnow.wordpress.com and the box turned green. Wahoo! Taken.
I wanted to give you more insight into why this combination of words is important to me. In the spring of 2010 I chose to do something I did think I had the ability to do, I chose to do a senior thesis in choreography. I felt uneasy choosing to spend an entire school year working on dance pieces that also had to have literature to back it up and would be evaluated by some of the most intimidating professors I’ve ever had. But I felt like this force outside of me was signing off on the proposal before I could change my mind. Looking back now, I know God was pushing me to find my feet, to get moving.
You see, I’ve always been terribly shy. At least until that fall anyway. Choosing to do my senior thesis was the first time I had to stand on my own and push for what I believed in. I had to love what I was doing and trust my gut even if everyone else hated it (which happens a lot in the dance community). With trembling hands I began to lead a group of 14 beautiful young women who I still believe are the most beautiful dancers I’ve ever encountered. And I chose them because I knew they all danced from their heart. Even if a line wasn’t 180 degrees or a foot didn’t pointe perfectly, it was the heart I wanted. I also began meeting with my committee members. One was the most passionate dance instructor I’ve ever had and the other was my religion advisor, whose classes always left my head spinning and my heart full. They both constantly pushed me to speak up, even if what I said didn’t make sense.
I chose to construct my thesis around something I really wanted to read about, write about, and especially to move about: the complexity placed on women to be both strong and gentle, sexy and pure, perfect and messy, quiet and outspoken, followers and independents in both secular AND spiritual cultures.
And it started with a poem I read in a book by Eve Ensler. The book, I am an Emotional Creature is an empowering statement to encourage women everywhere to express themselves as they are, to stand up against worldwide abuse and violence, and to feel proud of themselves as girls. The poem, “I dance” is a three part poem found throughout the book that I fell in love with because it supports my huge belief in dance as a healing art.
Below you’ll find the beginning of the poem and the opening of my piece which inspired my site title.
It is my constant reminder to trust my heart — my girlish, paradoxical, strong, gentle, sexy, pure, perfect, messy, quiet and outspoken heart.
Girl Moving Now.